A recent research study by Jennifer Baker of the Marriage Therapy Program at the Forest Institute showed some surprising results. Namely, that the common figure that 50% of marriages end in divorce is incorrect. That figure is too vague and instead marriages that last must be broken down by demographic. Since the 1980's, college graduates who were 26 or older at the time of marriage had a 81% success rate while only 65% of college graduates who married under 26 stayed together. Additionally, only 49% of couples who were high school educated and married under 26 were still together 20 years later. What can be taken away from this? People are getting married older and are more highly educated. It is too hard to say what the overall divorce rate is but the trend seems to be towards a greater percentage of successful marriages. Looking from the 1970's on, divorce rates seems to be decreasing as the general population became more educated and marriage was put on hold for several years.
While a high success rate for marriage is welcome news, it also presents new challenges and opportunities for the Church. We are seeing a more highly educated society with each generation, who are postponing marriage to a later time in life. These couples will have the benefit of greater maturity, but will also be more independent, both individually, as a couple, and as a family. These couples are more technologically savvy and there children are often more disconnected from family than in previous generations. Today, it is common for children to sit at the dinner table texting their friends and are also ahead of their parents with the latest technology. While this has its own benefits, there seems to be less real family time.
Unfortunately, these couples that are staying together for the long term also tend to be living together in greater numbers before getting married. Traditional values, such as sexual purity are not emphasized and living together is often a pre-requisite to getting married. Sometimes, the modern day couple is more materialistic than in the past. They are focused on “the corporate job” or career aspirations. They have their own goals and are, at-times reluctant to incorporate their family into their lifestyle.
We live a society were there is much less focus on the family, even as opposed to a decade ago. I believe that this is a contributing factor to the rise in teen drug abuse and even the current rise among heroin use on Long Island. On Long Island it is often the teens of these same upper-middle class families who have married, white-collar parents who are highly educated, that are also abusing drugs. Disconnected parents leave children looking for other avenues to find acceptance and a good time.
Overall, this is good news about the state of marriage. It brings with it a unique set of challenges but I believe the church can also capitalize on the opportunities that it presents. Churches will need to recalibrate their approach to marriage. They will need to explain the importance of family time and how a strong family unit holds society intact. Churches should re-enforce the spiritual and emotional benefits of sexual purity with young people and couples. Also, the importance of praying together as a family cannot be forgotten. Parents should be reminded that they need to play an active and vibrant role in the lives of their children. Building on the momentum of more marriages staying together, the church has an opportunity to make families stronger and restore these essential relationships.
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